why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
