Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
