I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
