Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
