question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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