Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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