Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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