Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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