Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
