Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
