Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm just crazy horny about you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
