i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
