im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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