non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize