I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
