If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
