hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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