so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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