Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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