Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
