Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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