If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
