I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
