Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
