Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
