Me too!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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