I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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