Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
