Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
