For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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