Porn is love you can see.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
