So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
