I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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