Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
