please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
