i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
