You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
