Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
