What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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