is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
