worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
