he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
