Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
