did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
