dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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