He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
