Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
