youre lurking in front of me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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