New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
