He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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