I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
