I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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