Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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