For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
