That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
