I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize