I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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