I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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