That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drake has all the answers
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
