i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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