New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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