Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
