Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize