I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
