you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
