That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
