yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
These tits shall not be calmed
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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