She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
